Little moments, BIG lessons


It’s a quarter past 2am and I am wide awake. Nat had woken me up for milk after which, it was as if the sleepy spell was broken – I am tired, no doubt, but I simply can’t go back to bed. I packed the messy dinning table and checked my phone instinctively – one message from a client, 5 new emails, and some feeds from instagram and facebook. I replied the message and put the phone aside.

Sitting alone in the dark in my living room now has a calming effect on me. The house is quiet, except for the tiny white noise coming from the water dispenser in the kitchen. 2 little school bags, packed and resting against the wall next to the dinning table. I can see vaguely, a couple of dolls and books resting lifelessly on the sofa. There must be some on the mat too, but I shall ignore it. Right now, I just want to spend some time with myself. It seems like I haven’t spoke to me much lately. I guess now makes a good time to reflect on some lessons from the past year, albeit a little late, it’s better now than never.

I try to look back, the first thing I recall is the facebook notification that took over my screen near the end of last year – I recall it saying, “The highlights of 2013”. First on the list, “Left Great Eastern Life” – left my comfort zone. Many big things happened after that, and a twist of event (and perhaps a couple more turns), led me onto a new course – I find myself standing at a point I’ve never dared to dream of. I’ve lost much and gained much too- I’ve left the corporate ladder after years of effort trying to climb higher, further. It was devastating, and though I often try to be as optimistic as I can, it was undeniably was painful, too painful. My consolation, and perhaps a greater gain was a new career of my own. This time, no project teams, no bosses, no deadlines, just me and how I work so that the bills are cleared, on time.

While the big changes are overwhelming, it’s the little things that I gained the most satisfaction from. My mind strays to a line from Puccini’s Madam Butterfly, “Ah, love me a little, Oh just a very little, As you would love a baby…Accustom’d to little; Grateful for love that’s silent…”

How often are the little things forgotten – little notes, little whimpers, little toy in my bottomless sack, little conversations in bed – little things that I’ve taken for granted. So here am I, in awe of my little home, the little things around, and revising and sharing the little lessons I’ve learnt from my little ones…

Keep Calm…

Hubby was vexing over some issues last night, I knew, cos I saw him staring blanking into an excel sheet. He was focusing intently on it, with a deep winkle between his brows and I knew I should leave him alone. As much as understanding a problem is important, sometimes, it’s better to leave it aside for awhile a do something else. Cos, dwelling in a problem doesn’t makes it go away, it helps to give the mind a break and perhaps a better solution may come to mind later, or sooner, who knows? Taking your focus away from the problem and invest the much needed energy on finding a solution is a much better way to deal with difficulties, don’t you think? :)

It’s Okay to make mistakes
It’s a drag working with a perfectionist, least to live with one. So, you can imagine my kids having to live with me – yup, not exactly the nicest mom on planet earth. Some time, a few months back when Shanice and I were working on an ice-cream stick treasure chest together, I chopped off the wrong length and we had to redo the sides, she quietly wrote these on the length of coloured sticks…

Shanice’s message to me. Some time last year.

She must have learnt it from Doc McStuffins! O, I love Disney! It’s so true, sometimes, it really does help to go easy with ourselves and more so with the kids. Of course, we re-did the treasure chest, and we will work on the spelling – eventually. I didn’t want to spoil the moment for us.

And, if you do make a mistake, 
it helps to apologise, promptly.
If it’s tough to say it, then write a little note. As shown in the picture above, good words and compliments always helps :)
Make your thoughts known
Life is complicated enough, so keep it simple with your loved ones by making your thoughts known. Although, telepathy is a very romantic notion, we need to recognise that even tele-signals fails sometimes, and nobody has formal training to read another’s heart, least to comprehend it. Making your thoughts known also help others to love you in the way that you want them to, and that would make you a happier person. 
Don’t judge a box by it’s cover
Sometimes, it really helps to not open a paradora box over little things. Sometimes, little things looks bigger than they are – more often, way out of proportion when we are overwhelmed with anger. However a situation looks, it helps when we just take a step back, cool off the heat and look deeper before judging or jumping into conclusions.
Two is better than one 
Invest in relationships. Because no one’s an island, we all need company, encouragement, comfort and love. Sometimes, it’s the most precious relationships that we neglect. We spend time and effort to nurture relationships with business associates, stick to our Ps and Qs with our bosses and clients, because we are fully aware of our dependency on such relations. Perhaps having spent more time at home in November last year, made me realised my greater dependency on the relationships I often take for granted. This being said, I should really be working out my weekday schedule to allow more time at home in the evening. Currently, my classes starts from 4 on most weekdays, the plan is to allow a no-work weekday every week which will give me more time to catch up with the people that matters most, and with the little things at home that matters much :)
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