Sometimes, love is letting go

Our helper has been with us for the past 5 years. She is loyal and kind and a big blessing to have in our house. She is to me, more than a helping hand – she is a friend, akin a younger sister. Although she insisted on addressing me as her “mdm”, I have never referred myself as that.

She is my helper but she is her own woman. This, I made it very clear to her from the very beginning. She is entitled to her own space, her days off, her rights to have friends and sufficient rest.

It is a bliss to have a peace of mind when i need to be out working or catch a rare moment alone with the husband. But as the clock ticks by, and with each passing day, i do know that i cannot and should not keep her with us for too long (she will not be young forever).

She should be entitled to have her own life, fall in love, pursue her interest, have her own family and live to the fullest.

Having set my mind on the above, I’ve over the years suggested for her to take up courses that would help her to progress and lead a more comfortable life. I am almost certain that she wont be able to adapt to the hardship of farming after years of living in an urban city with us.

Earlier this year, she has enrolled herself to hair styling classes and will be graduating this nov. It is clearer than ever now that she will probably leave us at the end of this year to seek employment in another country.

The thought of it is enough to form and huge lump in my throat and sting my eyes blood red. What would life be like after Singapore? How are the kids going to deal with this?

I DON’T KNOW.
I don’t like to not know. The control freak in me in screaming and sending alarm signals right through my system yet all I can do is to absorb the swirling emotions within and be still.

I do know that if I want the best for her, i need to let her go. And go with our blessings, best wishes and nothing less.