There under the scorching sun, my friend and I were on our way back to office from lunch.
We took a short-cut which required us to stroll through a patch of tall grass. The soil beneath was loose from the rain the day before. I was careful not to dirty my new flats, treading my way and trying to decide my next step when his question broke my rather dull train of thoughts. How did our careless conversation land us there?
“Did you marry him because of the comfort of familiarity?”
“I don’t know”, I replied. It was the immediate thought that came to me.
We were finally at the end of the grass patch. I adjusted my dress and checked my new golden scandals- perfect, all was good. Then I lifted my head and saw a pair of widened eyes staring at me. “Married with 3 kids and you DON’T KNOW?” I could almost hear his thoughts.
“Erm, but what is love? It’s something that stand the test of time, right?”
Glad I could somehow string something decent together albeit my brain was probably half-baked under the sun.
Being married with 3 kids, most of my single friends (understandably) assume that I kinda figured it out – ya know, got an idea of what this whole men-women relationship is about. Frankly, I do not have much of a clue. I mean, how do you measure the electricity between relationships? (I am not sure if I can handle a Ammeter but it’s probably not of much use here.) Or tell if it was TRUE LOVE? (I’d wake up to any kisses. I am a light sleeper.)
I married my best friend. We knew each other when we were 10. He was my classmate. I was a head taller, and he was alot smarter. But we caught up with each other, in many ways. Was it love? I think so.
Was it more love than familiarity or more familiarity than love? Erm…
|Our primary school gang at marina south steam boat. It was a gathering during our secondary school days.
Sam’s the one standing at the left and I am the big head at the bottom left of the photo.
Haiz, why can’t they take a glam-er photo of me. Lolx.
|KTV with primary school friends when we were 19.
Newly minted couple then, and he couldn’t get his hands off me ;p *blush*
|At a gathering with primary school friends shortly after our wedding.|
Well of course, there were more electric-charged kisses and dreamy candle light dinners *now, I hope Sam won’t read this post*. There were other boys that made me feel more like a princess (my hubby’s more like a buddy). But they were all history now. Over. Period. The fact that they didn’t last didn’t quite agree with my idea of a marriage.
“It (Love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Familiarity’s a very good feeling and a good soil for love to grow. Love has many facets and my favorite would be that it (should) perseveres.
So, was it love or familiarity?
I asked my hubby and he said “both”. Of course!
More than 2 decades since we sat in the same classroom, he is still more capable at offering a better answer.
Now, we’ll just need to work together for it to last.
|Mr and Mrs Foo.
Self-ie taken at our corridor earlier this year during Chinese New Year.
Here’s to love!
“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”– Ann Landers
Photo credit: Our P4 monitor (bottom right of photo) tirelessly organised gatherings for our primary school classmates for many many years. Most of the photos here were ‘coop-ed’ from his fb account. Thank you Kelvin!