“What is a pregger doing here?” I could almost hear my reflection speak. I straightened my purple dress, took a deep breathe and pushed open the glass door before me.
It wasn’t my first interview. At 32, I have made a few good and bad career changes. I knew the rules of the game – I was a marketer on a mission to impress. This time however, it was different – I brought my resume, my certifications and letters of recommendation, along with my very obvious baby bump. I was 25 weeks pregnant.
I was early for the appointment and spent 15 mins at the reception feeling rather out of place. Everything around seemed slick and classy and the lady at the counter wore smart uniform. I was a shouting and awkward contrast in a draped cotton dress, and a bright pink document bag that didn’t match. I would have opted for something smarter but none of my clean-cuts and straight jackets fit now. I tried to tie my hair up as high as I can to create a more professional look – it didn’t work. My reflection on the glass panel disapproved me. “Maybe I should walk away”, a voice in me said. But I didn’t. I erected my bright pink document bag so it covered my bump, put on a little lip colour and stayed put.
I wondered if they knew I was pregnant when they called me up for an interview. I’ve not blatantly mentioned it in the cover letter (of course!) but I’ve included the url to this blog in my resume and if the interviewers find their way here, they would have known, so I am not covering this up on purpose. I just want to have an equal opportunity – to start at the same footing as others.
I’ve sent out 4 applications for freelance work and 2 replied. My first interview was with a dentist for a freelance marketer position. Technically, it was more like a meet-up with a potential client.
I know fully well that I should be resting more and not piling myself with more work. I am in my 3rd trimester and the constant pain in my lower back constantly remind me of the state of my being. I would if I could, take things easily, but frankly, I can’t. Simply because I cannot afford to do so.
With the my main work contract ending in December and no certainty if the position would still be available to me after my confinement, I need to plan ahead and be more resourceful. The only way I can at least stay home completely for a month or two to be with Peanut after his birth is to save up enough before Jan 2015 (EDD in late Jan). To ensure that I won’t need to be painting at parities during my confinement and to save me the panic of hunting for new jobs after that, I have to work harder now. I’ve therefore started looking around for freelance opportunities to help me save up for what is ahead.
As much as I want to be positive, I am not okay. Apart from work stress, demands of my 3 kids and body aches and strains due to my current pregnancy, I am also worried about finances with another addition in Jan. If there are any reasons to be cheerful about, they would be to see my kids growing up everyday and having their cuddles and kisses to fuel me up for the challenges ahead. These little ones have no idea how powerful they are – how they can turn my life upside down in an instance, yet turn my mourning into dancing in another.
|The kids today, 18 Oct 2014.
Brought my brood of 3 to a story-telling session earlier in the afternoon.
Seriously, how could I not crack up laughing when I saw them looking like that?
I have promised Peanut that I will try to make things work. As much as possible, I want to be ready and well-prepared to welcome him.
We are waiting for you to join us, Peanut. You jiejies and gorgor have been kissing my bump and talking to you. We all love you, alot. I am sure you know that