Somethings are not for sharing (aka Lesson from my childhood on setting and respecting healthy boundaries)

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I grew up in a family of 6; my parents have 4 kids and I am the eldest. Growing up, I used to loath being the eldest at home – I got more chores and was required to share and give in readily to my siblings. With 3 younger siblings around, I was pretty much used to searching all around the house for an item or two only to later find out that it has been “borrowed” without my knowledge and have my clothes and bags misplaced in my sisters’ cupboards. But amidst all the mish mess mix of toys and things around the house, there were things that I was not required to share.

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And this was one of them – my pretty jewelery box

See, my mum in her wisdom, allowed each of us to have items that were set apart for ourselves – something that I believe in too.  As much I encourage my kids to share, I believe that it is as important to teach them to respect one another’s personal space and boundaries. Having first hand experience myself, I know that having siblings can be both a nightmare and a blessing – I always tell my kids to make the better of it. They can grow up hating to share and trying to cross one and another’s boundaries or they can learn to derive joy in sharing and up their EQ by respecting one another’s boundary and learning to compromise.

My pretty Little Twin Stars jewelry box came a long way from my preteen years.Though the plastic has turned yellowish now, it is still intact and functional after about 20 years – this is the quality that came with the notorious price tag for Sanrio products back in the 90s.  There is a little story about this jewelry box one – one that is both bitter and sweet…

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I kept the price tag on all these years

I was out in a mall with my family when I first laid my eyes on this jewelery box. It was sitting in the shop window, sparkling under the lighting. I was especially drawn to it’s 3 fold mirror. It was a gem among the other items exhibited. I recall walking in and out of the store a couple of times to check on the price tag, then stood stationary at the window staring at it for a long while. My mum, who was observing me, suddenly took the item from the window and walked straight to the counter and paid for it. Her expression was a mix of frustration, anger and pain. I couldn’t decide back then what to make out of it. But I got the jewelry box I wanted and that was great!

Now that I am a mother myself, I guess I can roughly comprehend what was going on in my mum’s mind back then. My parents were not well-to-do and having 4 kids to raise wasn’t easy, but we had never gone to bed hungry or been in extreme lack.

Many people asked me what are my plans with one more kid in the house – How are we going to afford another child? Do we have our finances planned out? Am I going to go back to working full-time to help make ends meet? Frankly, I do not know (yet), but I believe that all things will work out as long as the hubs and I are healthy and willing to work hard together. And with lots of grace from God above, things couldn’t be too bad :)

My parents managed, so we shouldn’t do too badly as well. :)

This post is part of a blog train hosted by Agatha from Green Issues by Agy on “I Didn’t Throw It Away“.

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We have become such a throw-away society, but there are some things in our households that we still keep. Why is that so? Perhaps this blog train can unlock the reasons behind it! Follow the daily posts on this blog train and read about the stories behind the things we have kept for many years and why we didn’t throw them away.

Next on the blog train is Madeline from madpsychmum.com.

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Madeline may not look like it but she is a sentimental person at heart. Often forced to part with some of her many collectibles that she has secretly amassed over the years (because there is simply no more space for them), Madeline has kept some of her keepsakes which she has refused to get rid off no matter what. Join her at madpsychmum.com tomorrow to find out what they are!

4 thoughts on “Somethings are not for sharing (aka Lesson from my childhood on setting and respecting healthy boundaries)

  1. I remember when Sanrio products were all the rage. As a kid I would browse the Sanrio store for ages until my mum got fed up and then she would always try avoiding the place. I was really happy when I got a Hello Kitty tissue packet holder as part of a party pack at a friend’s party – it must have cost a lot back then (they’re still expensive now!) and so I kept it. I still have it! Thank you for joining the blog train!
    Agy recently posted…Eco Gifts for ChristmasMy Profile

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