I am sorry if the title of this post offends you, but this is how I genuinely feel since the day my child was recommended for early intervention class for dylesxia.
I know what is dyslexia, and yesh it is not a big BIG deal – not until it became associated to my child – my flawless, my perfect, my bigger-than-my-own-life, MY little girl. It is as if there is a big monster, antagonising my little girl; I want to scream at it, I want to hit it really hard, I WANT IT TO GO AWAY, REAL BAD. But there is nothing I can do. And, the more I loath it, the more it hurts. Yet, I cannot ignore it or mitigate it, no matter how hard I try. I tried to understand it, but the more I read about it, the more I get closer to it, the more scary it gets.
IT BREAKS MY HEART, seeing her being misunderstood and hurt. She seems easily distracted, she is unable to read proficiently, she can’t get the sequence of numbers, letters and events in the right order, hence she is often misunderstood for lying, and being lazy. She took all these negativity without knowing why (it’s crazy). My beautiful little girl may have a hidden disability – its name is Dylesxia.
What’s crazier is that we don’t even know what sort of monster we are dealing with here – not till we get the full assessment done at the end of this year.
The other day she told me she wanted to be a doctor (ambitions changes every other day), and asked me if she could be anything she wants to be. I went silent. I know I should be positive. I wanted to say something positive, badly. But I can’t – i can’t because I don’t know. Yesh, there are many successful dylesxics. And I believe that she can be successful in life too. But whether or not it would be in medicine (and we know how tough it is to get into medicine for normal kids), and if it would be a good idea (she is very forgetful), I don’t know.
I hate how little I know about what’s going on here. I detest at how little I can do for her. I badly want to get hold of more information, which is only within our reach at the end of the year after the full assessment . Till then we are fighting in the dark. Till then we will have to play the crazy guess game with this thing called Dylesxia.