My baby just fell asleep after an exhausting day. I have rocked and nursed him for a while until he finally dozed off. I was told he hadn’t drank or slept much while I was out today. He’s been coughing for 2 weeks already, which adds on to my guilt. This whole juggling btw meeting the kids’ needs and getting bills paid has been too long and I feel like I am fraying away.
I am feeling very frail these days both physically (I’ve been ill with sore thoart and cough for a few weeks) and emotionally. It amuses me whenever someone tells me that I am doing fine or that I am super (gotta be kidding!). Of cos I know they are being kind, or that in an attempt to maintain my pride, I’ve unwittingly painted a overly positive picture of my endurance level. And, quite frankly, I don’t want to be super. I want to be capable and around when my kids need me and not too busy trying to make ends meet. I am struggling with little sleep everyday and constantly stressed.
I would like to think that this is the lowest point and that things will look up soon. I am looking forward to my real estate license, which should be in in a couple of weeks *can’t wait!*. Hopefully, with estate agency work added to my current tula accessories making, facepainting and freelance Web designer and online marketing portfolio, I will be doing better *Chin up, diana. Chin up*