For the first time in forever…

Today marks my first seventh year living as Mrs Foo. 7 is my favourite number. It is the the birth month for Renee and birth date of Nat. Growing up Christian, 7 to me  symbolises perfection – God made the world in 7 days.
Just as I anticipated, I spent today eating dinner, watching movie and reading lovey dovey card… but all without the husband.
For the first time since I signed on the dotted line for a happily-ever-after, i am celebrating my anniversary alone.
The husband was in fact on medical leave today and I made plans to free my evening then spent the whole day not knowing what I was anticipating. A dinner date? A little gift? Maybe a hug? Nope. None likely, not for a couple who are not even in talking terms. Especially not, when the husband is not well.
So that was today, my heart broken anniversary. My tearful day trying to conceal and not feel with little success. My buddy popped by in the afternoon and saw the broken me, it must have been to a certain degree traumatizing for her that she had to come by before the kids’ bedtime to check that i was okay. Thank God for girlfriends.
It’s less than 2 hours to midnight and I now have to learn to let go of my hopes for reconcilation on anniversary day.
Here I am, blogging with my phone beside the girls’ bed. I cannot help but feel a sense of emptiness within. Aloneliness wraps around me as I sit here in the still of the night.
For the first time since our together-ever-after, I don’t want to give in. No, I still don’t.
No lover, nevermind. I don’t need a man to save the day. I’ll grab a pack of chips and celebrate my 7th anniversary. Renee made me a card and Nat and Shanice gave me lotsa hugs today. Look, Mrs Foo, you’ve got much.
7 years, 3 kids and a place to call home. You did well mdm. You know that. Even if u don’t hear it from another person. Even if no one remembers the date. It doesn’t change it’s significance abit.
Here, on 31 march 2014, this post will remember it for u.

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